If you read my first post and decided to come back yay! Welcome back, my name is Heather; I’m 31 years old, and happily married to my husband Bart. We live in a small town outside of Birmingham, Al where everyone knows everyone. My husband and I are members of Grace Church Bessemer. Our church home has seen us grow and go through the best and worst of times; and stood with us every step of the way.

I am no where near the perfect Christian. My mom will quickly tell you my mouth will get me in trouble (I am working on that though). I’ve walked through many seasons in my short life. I walked through the emotions of having my parents divorce and even though they both loved me it sucked not having them together; however the blessing in that was getting my stepdad and step siblings. I’ve battled depression and also saw moments of self harm. I’ve walked the line of doing risky things others would call a, “bad idea”. I’ve been angry at God and completely turned my back on His love and His mercy. Yes you read that correctly! I didn’t just walk away, I ran away from God. He never left me though. So many things I could share of when I battled things or when I made the wrong decision and yet God was there arms wide open waiting for the prodigal to return.

So often we want to point a finger at God. We want to yell at Him and let Him know just how angry we are because something bad happened, or maybe something didnt work out like we wanted it to. God is not this mean parent trying to keep us from being happy. Its actually quite the opposite. John 10:10 says, “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” God’s intention was for us to have an abundant life, full of happiness and all the things we need including the relationship with Him. Our problem is alot of times we step out of where God has us to do our own thing and then we want to blame God when things start going wrong. As badly as many of us hate to admit it, me included, when we choose to do what we want and not what we know God has asked us to do there are consequences. Just like as a kid if you do something you’re not supposed to you get in trouble, or you may not get the treat you were promised if you had behaved.

For me personally, I am a fixer. I want everyone to be happy, I don’t want anyone hurting, I want blessing for everyone (you get the point). So alot of my downfall is when I think I have to find the solution to an issue, even when God is trying to tell me only He can fix it. In the past I have been terrible about saying, “okay God im going to let you fix it!” then not even minutes later I’ve taken it upon myself and inserted my own solutions God didnt ask for. He told me to trust Him and He would handle it. All too often we decide our way is the only way to fix whatever we are going through when some of the time we are the reason we are in the situation we are in. In this current season I am in, God has been teaching me to take my hands off and to fully let go and allow Him to navigate every moment and every thing. It has been extremely hard, I refuse to act like it hasn’t been. At times my emotions have gotten the best of me and my mind has convinced me of things and I find myself falling. Its then I have to take those thoughts and grab hold of them and remind them who my God is. My God will never leave me, He wants what is best for me, He is INTENTIONAL with the things He puts in my life or takes away. It has taken me so long to get to a point where I can fully understand that and be just fine knowing it.

I am a work in progress. God is still working on this masterpiece. I will never pretend to be this perfect, overly spiritual Christian. Absolutely not. I said already God is still working on my mouth, God is still working on alot of me but i am surrendering myself daily to God so that He can do that work in me. Being a Christian isn’t easy, but it is the most amazing thing I have ever done. Without my faith I would have never survived June 16th. I would have likely given up and labeled myself a failure. If not for a loving Heavenly Father I likely wouldnt be here today.